tch
perhaps, i've loved wrongly. but u were the girl for me. i have never felt so strongly for anyone ever before. i don't know why i still stayed loyal to you, when you weren't even serious about me..all the times i tried to please you, you only ended up getting angrier..i have so much fustration..AND its all my fault. yes. all my fault. its better not to think. coz i think too much. i assume too much. so its all my fault. don worry. its my fault, not yours.
i was wrong for loving you..i was wrong for thinking of you..i was wrong because you failed to bring across to me what you really mean..its all my fault..itx all my fault for making you my angel..itx all my fault for being your piggy once..itx all my fault for going to that bbq last year..itx all my fault for writing letters to you and replying your letters to me..itx all my fault for writing essays for you, about you..itx all my fault for having sacrificed so much for you, without you knowing it..itx all my fault for buying you presents from hong kong only to have them stolen at the next minute because u didn't cherish them as much as you don't cherish me..itx all my fault for being there for you whenever you needed me. itx all my fault for buying a pair of piggys for you on ur birthday..itx all my fault..itx all my fault..you. are. innocent. itx my fault that you didn't take me seriously. itx my fault that you crushed me so many times but i still stayed with you all along..itx my fault that you didnt want me to be more confident but gave me the wrong message so i tried again and again to woo you back..itx my fault that you dropped so many hints knowingly or not, that i didn't know what exactly you meant..itx my fault that you spun me round and round again leading me nowhere, leaving myself to deal with the confusion..itx my fault..not yours..Don't worry..you are NOT BLAMED for all these because they are all my fault. its my fault that you only wanted to be friends all along when you claimed that you loved me all along..nono...don't worry..itx MY fault..all mine..i shall go and reflect on my mistakes..for godknowswhat reason..itx all my fault, for loving you..my fault..don't worry.
and halfway through, you made me break down for the first time. now, im really crushed. you never knew how MUCH you've hurt me all along, and there i was, trying to tolerate it all for your sake. for our 'relationship's' sake. you said i let you down twice..HI THERE, YOU'VE LET ME DOWN COUNTLESS TIMES DO YOU KNOW THAT?? you're seriously too selfish for your own good. i pity him for choosing to woo you back. he should just stick with your best friend. she is better off for him.
im seriously crushed. i hate you now. i really do. i tore all your letters and essays you've wrote for me, my heart aching each time i did. but i told myself, you are not worth it. all that i've done for you are not appreciated by you. you tricked me. it was all a hoax. and there went the shredded pieces. gone like the wind. never to come back. newflash: you've hurt me. you've seriously hurt me. time for you to know that. you're not the only victim here. i've had enough. get lost, you fucking bitch!
`cher!sh~
[5:12:00 PM]
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